Curses

Author: Maidelyn

Maidelyn's guide to cursing

Had a bad day? Don't worry! I'll teach you how to swear in any situation you may find yourself in!

Use flaming and bloody as often as you like, interspersed with any selection from the curses below. Don't confine yourself to the exact way the curses are written here, substitute fool for idiot, trolloc-loving for pig-kissing, wool-headed for goat-brained and you'll have an endless supply of curses!

Here are a few examples of how to curse appropriately to the situation :

Spilled your drink in the tavern - Burn me!

Someone else made you spill your drink in the tavern - Light burn you!

Someone else made you spill your drink on your favourite outfit - You goat-kissing idiot!

Someone else made you spill your drink on yourself in front of the Aes Sedai you were trying to impress - You flaming shadow-loving,blood-be-damned trolloc-kissing cretin!

A few curses to be going on with....

Shai'tan take you Light-blinded idiot Dragon-taken Burn me/you/your eyes/hearts etc Light blind you Dragon-possessed Light consume you Mud-footed swineherd Goat-brained lout Light burn you Half-wit looby Woll-headed lummox Haybrain Blood and bloody ashes Wool-brain White-livered son of a goat Shadow take you/your soul Burn your soul for a craven heart Muscle-bound cretin Filthy pig-kisser Bull-goose fool Sheep swallop Wool-brained mule Burn my bones to ash Bee-headed lunatic Goat-kissing fool Lump-eared sack of coal Spavined mule Pigeon-gutted sheep-stealer

Curses for a specific person/race

Gawyn- Bloody ox of a thimble-brained man Perrin - Anvil-headed blacksmith Rand - Wool-headed shepherd / wooden-headed numbskull Mat - Young oakum picker Sea folk - Daughter/son of the sands, bilge stone, fish-loving scavenger, Berelain - Lightskirt, twitchskirt

Curses used by.....

Birgitte - Mother's milk in a cup Sea folk - Cringing sandlappers Forsaken - Bajad drovja, Kjasic flyspeck city Anyone who doesn't like Rand - Dragon-taken, Dragon-possesses Darkfriends - Light-blinded fool Now Mat has used too many curses to be listed here but I think the best is - Sheep swallop and bloody buttered onions

My favourite quotes

Mat - "Blood and ashes! Does it have to be that flaming way every flaming time? It was just a bloody itch!"

Uno - "Burn me for a sheep-gutted farmer, but she's flaming well brave enough for a bloody queen!"

Mat - "If the pig-kissing bowl is in the Rahad, how am I supposed to find it on this flaming side of the river?"

Harnan - "...don't care what the flaming fishseller said, you goat-spawned toad, you use your bloody club and don't go accepting flaming challenges just because-"

Mat - "Bloody fool, bloody city, and bloody ta'veran.....bloody everything!"

Mat - Hold your tongue about Aes Sedai, you flaming penny-grubber, or I'll peel you and stuff a whitecloak down your bleeding gullet!"

Mat - "Unhand me you white-livered sons of goats!...Burn your eyes! The shadow take your souls, loose me! I will have your guts for a saddle girth!"