How To Tell If You're Insane

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Author: Raylin Delayn

As a Yellow Aspirant, one comes across many diseases and problems, and must learn how to handle them. Especially those of the mind. Check the following guidelines to see if you might be experiencing insanity.

1. If you are male, have you ever channeled the One Power before, or think you MIGHT have? If yes, click here.

And, for the rest of you:

2. Do you hear voices in your head? (No, bond-mates and first-sisters do NOT count)

3. Do you LISTEN or/and REPLY to the voices in your head?

4. Do you randomly spout the Old Tongue without realizing it?

5. Do you unknowingly weave patterns from the Age of Legends?

6. Do you UNDERSTAND Aiel humor, if you're not Aiel?

7. Do you change your accent in mid-sentence?

8. Do you think you're the Dragon Reborn?

9. Do you make everyone you know call you Nae'blis?

10. Do you insist that your pet is the Creator/DO/Dragon Reborn/or Nae'blis?

11. Do you take a female relative out on a leash and say that she is your damane and then command her to destroy everything?

12. Do you go around and scrawl the Dragon's Fang on the doors of people you don't like?

13. Do you have to have your own theme song, and sing it whenever you walk through a door?

14. Do you think that Bela is anything other than just a plain horse...?

15. Are you plagued by dreams where you are a huge lemon floating in a gin and tonic?

16. Have you ever tried to bond your pets? (Warder, first sister, etc. ...)

17. Have you ever tried to bond a stuffed animal? (looks warily at Eili's purple bunny)

18. Do you believe you have ever really been to T'A'R' in the flesh?

19. Do you believe that there is an alternate dimension under your bed? (Take a left by the fridge and watch out for the missing dog)

20. Do you believe that the alternate dimension under your bed IS T'A'R'?

21. Have you ever tried to use Compulsion on Daddy to buy you that new dress?

22. Do you believe that Daddy is a Whitecloak?

23. Do you believe that Mommy is the Panarch?

24. Do you believe that your siblings are Darkfriends?

25. Have you ever acted on any of the three previous questions?

26. Do you constantly tug your braid, cross your arms under your breasts, and/or Sniff?

27. After you paint your nails, do you ever consider shaving your head and revealing your true identity as a Seanchan Blood?

28. Have you ever tried to Travel to meet your bondmate?

If any of the previous symptoms are experienced, please get yourself to the nearest Yellow Sister immediately. Thank you and have a nice day.