View source for Instructions On Picking A Warder

''Author: {{Eleyan}}''


== ''Top Tips for Picking Your Warder'' ==
 

It's a difficult decision. For most sisters, it's a decision that you make only once in your life. So how do you know if he's right for you? You've come to the right place! Who knows better how to pick a Warder than those who do it many times over? Over the centuries we Greens have developed a nearly fool proof plan for picking Warders (of course, if they don't work out we can always bond more men to keep them in line, but you may not have that opportunity). Our system has been closely guarded as an Ajah secret, but with the Last Battle looming, we feel it right that everyone should have the best at their backs. We suggest administering a series of very subtle tests to determine how suitable a man may be for your Warder. Examples are as follows: 

- Run up behind the candidate while he is doing something restful and generally has his guard down. Shout loudly "Trollocs and Whitecloaks and Prophets, OH MY!" and observe his actions. If he immediately attempts to defend you - pass. If he tries to defend some novice or runs away - fail. Also note his choice of weapon. If he always keeps a sword handy and choses to use it - pass. If he picks up a large blunt object that may work - conditional pass. If he picks up a pillow, anything he looks silly holding, or tries to use you as a barrier -fail. 

- Invite you candidate on a picnic. While walking through the Ogier grove, pretend to twist your ankle. If he tells you to buck up, you'll never become Aes Sedai if you cry - fail. If he gently tears a strip from his own tunic to wrap your ankle in, and then gives you a piggy back to the nearest Yellow Sister and demands healing for you - pass. 

- If you dream walk, we suggest attempting to enter his dreams. If you look more beautiful than normal in his sleep, and he gushes out undying words of devotion - pass. If you blend in with the scenery and you look on from your role as a scullery maid while he gushes our undying words of devotion to your roomate - fail, and you should hit him hard in the gut the next day for making you scrub pots all night. 

- Come up to you candidate and say "jump." If he does - pass. If he smiles patronizingly - fail. 

We have also developed several guidelines for chosing a potential candidate for Warder: 

- Only pick a Warder who is proficiant in at least three types of combat. These may include weaponless combat, broadsword, missle type weapons, etc. These do not include the ability to win drinking battles. <br>
- Your Warder should think your jokes are funny. <br>
- Your Warder should wiegh more than you do. <br>
- Your Warder should not object to "icky" tasks like squashing bugs and gutting fish. <br>
- When asked about another woman, your Warder should answer..."Who? I hardly noticed." <br>
- Your Warder should know at least 6 good drinking songs, 2 of which he should refuse to tell you. <br>
- Your Warder should want to be bonded, unless he happens to be the Dragon Reborn, or extreamly attractive, in which case this rule is suspended because he was "asking for it." <br>
- Other people should want to bond your Warder. <br>
- Your Warder should not be adverse to bathing. 

There you have it! Happy hunting to you.

[[Category:Humor]]
[[Category:Green Contributions]]