A Day in the Life: A Social Worker's Story

Author: Calen Velervron, September 2017

One of the worst parts of my job is watching a parent lose their child. Sometimes this is because they could not safely keep a child but from what I am finding out the longer I do this, many kids are simply given up. The first time I saw this happen I watched a grandfather bring in his grandson. The grandson had just turned twelve and my boss sat him with me in my office. I was typing away and making small talk, I wasn't sure why he was there and it's not really something you just ask but he finally piped up and said, "My family doesn't want me anymore, and I don't know what I did wrong." This was one of the most heartbreaking moments of my career and I don't think I will ever be able to forget his face in that moment.

After his grandfather got finished with my boss and some of the required paperwork, he had to give us medical information and officially give up his rights and state that no one in the family wanted this child. I followed the grandfather back to his home. My job that day was to help this poor kid pack up his life and place it in four trash bags and then come back to the office so I could help find him placement, a safe place to sleep that night.

That night was the first time I ever had to sleep in the office; sometimes you can't find a placement for every kid right away. It is harder to place teenagers and this kid couldn't be placed. In my office building we have a room set up for kids to sleep in and I crashed on my office floor, not that anyone slept much. The next day I asked to keep this case and become the primary long term worker for this kid even though usually this is not the part of the job I do. I finally found a placement for him with a really strange family - they looked and acted nothing like this kid. It was their first foster kid and they were thrilled to get a chance to help anyone. That next day I took and dropped him off, I made sure he had my number, said a little prayer to myself and headed home.

Over the next bit he had some issues, its hard I think to remember that these kids are in foster care but still need the same level of love. They need to know that even if they mess up they aren't going to be homeless and they aren't going to just be given up again. This mother and father, although from a much different cultural environment and place than my kid, did their best to love him. We worked together and saw him bring up grades, go to therapy and finish it, and start to play sports. He bonded and loved the people he got to be with.

On Tuesday this week the parents stood up and told our judge here that they didn't want this to end, they decided they wanted to be his forever home, his mom and dad for life. It brought a tear to my eye, and I don't ever really cry. They decided, even though there was no genetics, no bond by blood or family, that they created their own family. It was a beautiful moment and I will never forget it. My kid even got to change his name. This is actually one of the kids' favorite parts - they can be whomever they want to be. They get to pick a new name if they so chose, legally, and this kid loved it.

I can't guarantee it will always be easy for these guys. But I can say the world is better because this family exists. I can say that my life was better for knowing all of them. It is so important I think that we put ourselves out there, you never ever know who you might save.

Yours, Calen