Life Change: The Great Journal Experiment
Author: Nymala Ingasy
The premise was simple. A group of four people try something for thirty days to see if it becomes a habit. It sounded easy enough, something anybody could emulate, right? That was the idea behind a series of videos from Buzzfeed I had stumbled across on Youtube. I wondered if I could do any of the things the group was trying, but none of it appealed to me. Veganism for thirty days? No thanks. Drinking only water for thirty days? I liked my Coke Zero a bit too much for that. Working out with P90X? What the heck is that? It seemed like nothing they were trying as a Life Change would be something I could or would do for thirty days. But then, I stumbled across it. They were trying to keep a journal for thirty days. I'd finally found my "in."
But why would keeping a journal be considered a life changing habit in the first place? A lot of people see keeping a journal or a diary as something little girls do, but surprisingly, there are positive mental and emotional benefits to writing down thoughts, events, and feelings in a safe, special place. Journaling (or keeping letters or diaries) is an ancient tradition, one that dates back to at least 10th century Japan. Successful people throughout history have kept journals. Presidents have maintained them for posterity; other famous figures for their own purposes. Oscar Wilde, 19th century playwright, said: “I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train.”
Scientific evidence supports that journaling provides other unexpected benefits. The act of writing accesses your left brain, which is analytical and rational. While your left brain is occupied, your right brain is free to create, intuit and feel. In sum, writing removes mental blocks and allows you to use all of your brainpower to better understand yourself, others and the world around you. According to the Huffington Post, journaling is thought to boost memory and comprehension, strenthen your self-discipline, help you achieve your goals, build self-confidence, spark your creativity and emotionally heal your wounds.
When I was younger, and struggling with the grief and loss of my father, my counselor suggested keeping a journal as a way of getting out my inner feelings, thoughts and emotions. I faithfully kept a diary for years, from age 6 to my mid-20's. Sometimes I drew to illustrate what I was trying to say, but sometimes I wouldn't. When I read back some of my early diary entries, I saw what a scared, hurt, lonely child I was. I also read things that happened to me that I simply didn't remember due to the passage of time or other emotional issues. But then, I just stopped keeping a diary. I tried LiveJournal for a while, and then Facebook exploded onto the scene, stopping my pen cold in its tracks for a long while.
It was Facebook that was the impetus to try journaling again after watching the Buzzfeed video. I'd gone to a home party to promote a friend's venture in selling "natural" skincare products. While I was there, someone made some thoughtless comments about Judaism with me in their presence. They were quickly hushed, but the hurt was done. I went home and I wanted to get out my feelings, but I realized I couldn't share them on Facebook because if I lambasted the woman for being an insensitive moron, my friends and family (who were also friends with the other person) would see it. I realized that I was censoring myself and I began to wonder how many times I'd done that to keep from hurting my friends and family. So, I began the journaling experiment in October as a way to get my feelings out safely. I bought a purple notebook with a feather pattern etched into it and started to write. I found that unlike when I was younger, and I was writing about the events of my day and who'd done what to me, I was really thinking about my day, my life, and extracting a lot more meaning from it. I'd write a little bit about the context and then move to what it meant to me for the rest of the entry. I even managed to write down a poem or two, something I was hoping to have to show for my flurry of creativity. I found it hard to write every day, as sometimes I was too tired or really had little to write about, but I found myself enjoying what I was writing whenever I did. I was a little rusty at first, but quickly found the habit again. Mostly, I wrote at night, in bed with my cat to cuddle and some time to gather my thoughts about my day, but a few times, I brought my journal with me to work, just in case the mood struck me.
My thirty days are up now, but my journal is still beside me as I type this up. The big question is, would I keep it up? I think I will, as a way of having some private, offline, "me" time. But, at the same time, I don't think I could do it every day, day in and day out. I have a life to lead, as quiet as it normally is, and sometimes journaling isn't a part of it. Writing stuff down is a chore, being creative is a chore. It's easier to send a poop emoji to a friend or to post a meme on Facebook. Journaling is a way to be introspective and to mine yourself for inspiration and make yourself be creative. Your thoughts, your ideas, your dreams and your feelings, in a space just for you. It's the original way to be selfish, and I've found that being a little selfish is okay. Try it and see for yourself. As Levar Burton said on "Reading Rainbow," you don't have to take my word for it.
