Diary of a Sul’dam - Part 1
Author: Alenya Al'Roran
Published: August 3 2020 Tar Valon Times Blog
This article may contain spoilers for the whole series
9 Jumara 985 NE
Today is a feast day, but for me, it is not just any feast day. I am old enough to be tested today, and I do not know if I should be excited or scared. I could be damane after today. I am selfishly hoping I am not. It is an honor to serve the Empress, may she live forever, but damane must leave their families behind, and I do not want to lose them. I love my family and it would hurt not to see them again. This is something I must remember to keep to myself, for it could go badly for me and my family if a Listener knew what I thought. This may be the last entry I ever make, which would mean I am damane after today. I wonder if we would still get in trouble if I no longer exist.
Later the same day
I am back, and I am not damane. I have been named sul’dam. I did not want to leave my family, but if I must, this is the way I would want to do it. Being a sul’dam will bring great honor to my family and it will be a great opportunity to serve. I must finish packing my things quickly, because we are leaving soon to begin our training.
17 Tammaz 990 NE
It has been a long time since I wrote, but training to be a sul’dam has been hard. There are a lot of things to learn and they are pushing us hard, though I do not know why. I took the time to write today because we will start working with damane tomorrow. I am afraid I will see someone who was once my friend. I know I would not want to have a sul’dam I had played with as a child if I were in her shoes.
18 Tammaz 990 NE
We were paired with experienced damane so we would not have to try to work with one of our childhood friends. I am grateful for that. In my own private thoughts, I feel guilty for becoming a sul’dam when others became damane. It is strange to work with a damane. I had not expected to feel so much through the a’dam. They told us it would happen, but I do not think any of us were truly prepared for the experience. We have made it through that first try and that is enough. Now, we will learn and become full sul’dam.
20 Jumara 995 NE
It is done. I am a fully trained sul’dam and I have been assigned a damane. She is young like me, and probably came from another village about the same time I did. What different paths we have taken. She told me her name is Tilly. I am not sure I believe her, but if that it what she would like to be called, I do not have the heart to change it for her. Some of the sul’dam change the names of their damane, but I have observed those sul’dam to be more. . . cold hearted to the damane. Perhaps it was in their nature to be meaner or maybe they have seen things we younger sul’dam have not. I hope I don’t turn into that type of a person someday. I want to be nice to Tilly. I think we will get along well in the hopes that we could become a formidable pair someday. I suppose we will see who gets better results.
