Warderball Central: Weeks One and Two
Authors: Alora Sionn and Madhar al'Thera
Published: September 24 2021 - Tar Valon Times Blog Link
*the epic Warderball Central theme music plays as the camera zooms in with a flourish on our two hosts, Madhar and Alora*
Madhar: Welcome back everyone to another edition of Warderball Central!! We’ve had an exciting two weeks of games…
Alora: That’s right Mad, and quite a few upsets as well! Lets dive right in and take a look at Warderball Week One:
Each week will have six games as the matchups rotate between the 12 teams. In Week One we had some close games and some that blew the competition away! Without further ado, lets get into the details of Week One’s games.
Alora’s Qo’noS Targs faced off against Rand’s Barrani Jokers in what was projected to be a win for Rand, but in a surprise upset, Alora’s Klingons wrecked the Jokers 125.1 to 94.58. Patrick Mahomes was Rand’s MVP of the week but Alora’s Amari Cooper vastly exceeded projected points and put her over the top for a win.
Braedan’s Bombers and Atane’s Accomplices took to the field amid projections that the big wolf in town Brae would take it all, but the newest cub of VC took home the underdog victory with a score of 145.34 to 123.56. Atane had an early lead in the week, but on Sunday Brae and Russell Wilson pulled ahead, before Atane’s Tyreek Hill and Jarvis Landry snatched victory from the jaws of defeat.
Xander’s Band of the Red Hand was projected to lose to the Valyrian Steelers by only a single point, but those projections turned out to be way off as the Band pulled ahead to win 126.56 to 105.2. Xander’s Tom Brady ensured that he had an early lead and Aragoth’s Steelers just couldn’t make up the difference. This matchup’s 21.36 margin was the closest in the league this week.
Cursor’s Brady is GOD faced off against Madhar’s Minions this week, and took the lead early, never giving an inch to finish 127.82 to 104.76. Cursor’s team had 5 of his 9 starting players exceeding the projected points, while Madhar’s Kyler Murray put up 34.56 points, which was the highest score for a quarterback this week.
Brotherhoodw/0Banner took out Esteban Diego De Castille as they both fell short of projections, ending with a score of 121.48 to 98.16. Esteban’s team was projected to win but the Brotherhood took the lead early and never let up, thanks in part to Adam Thielen scoring 78.5% more than his projected points.
Feros’ Dark One’s Luck was projected to beat Daegan’s Daestruction and they didn’t disappoint, ending the game with a score of 143.66 to 81.28. Feros had three players who scored more points than the highest scorer on Daegan’s team, and the 62.38 point margin was the largest in the league this week.
Alora: And that wraps up Week One of Warderball! How’d we do in Week Two, Mad?
Madhar: Thanks Alora *taps his notecard on the table* Week Two had some good games, and a hefty dose of rivalries!
One such rivalry was Qo’noS Targs VS Brady is GOD, as Alora and Cursor often face off as Ravens and Patriot fans respectively. It was a nailbiter from start to finish as they kept passing each other in points, but Cursor was able to come out on top with a final score of 103.18 to 98.86. Both teams fell far short of projections but the result was as predicted in the end.
Braedan’s Bombers faced off against Xander’s Band of the Red Hand this week, and was projected to win but was destroyed by the Band with a score of 147.74 to 102.72. Xander’s team took an early lead and never gave it up, thanks in part to overachiever Cooper Kupp.
Feros obviously had the Dark One’s Luck in this matchup against Atane’s Accomplices as he slid to victory with a score of 121.06 to 76.48. This was another matchup where the lead came early and never changed, and though both teams fell short of projections, Atane’s team had the lowest score of the week so it was fate for Feros to come out on top.
Rand’s Barrani Jokers had their first win of the season against the Valyrian Steelers who have yet to have that honor, the Jokers exceeding their projected points to end at 126.42 to 96.66. Early Sunday afternoon Rand took a 35.04 point lead and it was smooth sailing from then on. Greg Zuerlein had a 56 yard field goal for the Steelers, but it just wasn’t enough.
Madhar’s Minions absolutely curb-stomped the Brotherhood, 173.20 to 99.32, but it was bound to happen since no matter who Madhar played this week, he would have won, finishing with the highest score of the week. It didn’t help the Brotherhood than Jason Sanders(K) scored 0 points, while Madhar had seven players exceed their score projections.
Daestruction had the top scorer of the game but it wasn’t enough to save them from Esteban, as he won 140.70 to 100.18. The real stars were Esteban’s wide receivers, with a total of 57.8 points of the total score. It didn’t help that Daestruction’s Wil Lutz(K) was on Injured Reserve and scored 0 points this week.
Alora: It’s been an exciting couple of weeks!
Madhar: And we look forward to seeing you all on the next episode of….
Alora and Madhar: Warderball Central!
*music plays as the camera zooms out, showing the Warderball Logo again*
