Princess Sarie and the Genie
Author: Alyria Ess
Princess Sarie and the Genie
There once was a princess. Her name was ... Sarie 
All she wanted was to have a blue and yellow zebra she could ride like a horse, but no one would give her one for her birthday even though she was a very good girl. She didn't even steal cookies out of the kitchen or put boogers under the sofa cushions, not even!But still, no zebra came to her.
Her mother told her that they didn't exist, and wouldn't she rather have a pony?
This pissed Sarie off, because she knew full well they existed, because she could picture it in her mind. Was her mother trying to say she was crazy? Hell with that noise.
One day while Princess Sarie was skipping through her palace's garden, braids being tossed jauntily in the air, she accidently knocked over a large clay vase. After looking around to make sure no one saw, she began to resume her skipping and exuberant braid tossing, intending to blame the vase on someone else. But suddenly, she heard a noise...
She looked behind her and saw an orange type of smoke coming out of the broken vase...
Sarie gasped and squeeked, "brreeemmp!" which was the noise she usually made when things became marginally unusal.
Now, most girls would stick around, thinking "omg a genie!!!!1" but Sarie, as we established, was an odd duck, so she tore ass back into the palace, thinking something had gone terribly wrong with that vase, and that she should not be a part of it.
So Sarie ran and she ran and she ran and ran and ran, asses and elbows, back to her bedroom, slamming the door behind her with a dramatic flair and ducking into her giant bed.
"Holy Freddy Mercury," she whispered, her eyes wild and chest heaving with exciteable breaths.
As Sarie lay sprawled face down on her bed, she heard a whispy/floaty sound coming from the direction of her open window. The window that was, DUN DUN DUN DUN! above the garden!
Sarie slowly rolled over and peeked out from under her pillow. She saw, as you reader, were expecting, the orange smoke roiling in through the open window. It seeped in like a mist at first, and then began to billow and build until it was the size of a man.
And then, sweet lord, it was a man. A sexy man 
But wait, let's not get creepy. Princess Sarie is just a little girl.
Anyway.
This was of course a genie.
He said, "I AM A GENIE!"
At hearing his thundering and magnaminous voice, Sarie's jaw went slack in the most unflattering manner, tongue lolling.
"Who has released me from my eternal slumber?!" the genie demanded, looking directly at the frightened Sarie.
"I am a genie, and I will grant two wishes to the human who freed me from that awful Pottery Barn pseudo-cultural vase!"
"Wishes?" Sarie thought to herself, considering her blue and yellow zebra, "I have wishes!"
"Hey, smoke-guy?" Sarie said, "it was I who ehmm....released you....from the vase, I can haz wishes?"
The genie narrowed his eyes and glared at Sarie.
"You? But you are just a child! The wishes I grant are only stupendous and extravagant in style, and not worthy of being bestowed upon a mere child."
As we found out early by the flamboyant way Sarie skips around with her braids carlessly whipping through the air, we know that she is quite the saucy girl. So, naturally, so she didn't much care for being called a "mere child."
"Mere child!" Sarie exclaimed, boucing off her bed and bounding toward the genie, finger waggling in his face.
"How dare you call me a mere child?! Do you know who I am?! I am PRINCESS Sa..."
Before Sarie could finish her titular rampage, the genie had floated a dirty stocking from off the floor, and into Sarie's mouth.
"SILENCE," the genie roared, looking so serious and stern that Sarie dared not fight against the grody stocking stuck in her mouth.
The genie pondered on how to handle this situation. He owed a duty to the child for releasing him, but she would only wish for things that would mock his grand power, such as kittens or candy or those creepy pony dolls. God, how he hated those creepy pony dolls!
Seeing no way around the situation, he released the stocking and hoped the child would have expensive tastes.
"Brreeemmp!" she chirped.
"Now, child. You only have two wishes. Make them well."
Sarie didn't have to think about what she wanted to wish for.
"One blue and yellow striped zebra, please." Sarie eyed the stocking on the floor and quickly added, "sir."
The genie mentally facepalmed.
"Fine, Princess Sarie, one blue and green striped zebra, just for you."
With a bow and a flourish, the genie uttered his magic words, and as if out of nowhere, a beautiful blue and green zebra appeared!
To be continued...
